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Saturday, August 02, 2003
© Ashley

I have a friend
Who is perfect for me
She listens to all my problems
No matter how dumb they may be

She likes herself for who she is
And never tries to change
She tells me to be myself
And that I should never change

She was shy on the phone
But she would still call
And we would talk for hours
About nothing at all

We would talk about love and life
And discuss what we wanted to be
She knew just how I felt
And how happy I could be

She listens to me patiently
But never judges what I do or say
She helped with all my problems
And never went away

I never once felt judged by her
How much that meant to me
That I could tell her all my dreams
And she would listen to me

My friend never goes and tells
What is dear to me
She keeps it all bottled up inside
And doesn't spread it like a bee

I am thankful for that friend of mine
Our friendship will never end
And she will always be there
For she is my best friend

Thursday, July 31, 2003
The Funniest Matrimonial Ads .........

Just too good...

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must
have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One
of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a
wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and
successful career!

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements are high.
However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon
the national interest.

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and
understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family

Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my
current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the injection
of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could
be an issue.

Wife wanted for company.

I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to
harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short
comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To
feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we
should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to
the point)

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent
working condition.

Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.

I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of
wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a
girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view
that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service
and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled
and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities
are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She
must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the
ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must
also be aerodynamically sound!!!

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai, Key hum bee shaadi shooda ho
jaayeh, Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka............... joh kurrey sarey sarey,
Yeah mai butaatah hoon ......... Kyoon key yaro ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah
nahee sarey sarey.

Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for figures. She must
be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be
one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit
from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a drinks factory. I am
an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come round. Friends
come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me from bar
to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample
should be ample.

Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from base, erm
a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not necessary, but map
reading skills are a bonus.

Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey
dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery
hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely
and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you
feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by me.

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants
must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage

A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be able to
keep pace!

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my
universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Following My Dream

Following my dream one day
I stepped into a world
A world that was so beautiful
That took me in a trance

Driving away all my fears and uncertainties
Taking me to a whole new level of serenity
Surrounded by a calmness
A calmness I never knew existed.......

The perfect state of bliss.
And then i felt that one thing
That I should have known before
would happen 'cause it was inevitable......

I felt you.
The electric ripple that your aura exudes
I could sense the sparks that you sent come towards me
But then I wouldn't try to dodge it

I wouldn't try to run like I tried before
'Cause i know this is what I've always wanted
This is what i've always waited for
And finally it got me.....seeping through me....

Reaching my soul.....
Elevating me to a state of ecstasy
And then what followed it can only be dreamt of
What took me really unawares

It was the transition...
The metamorphosis of my dream into reality...........